I know that maybe you think that this post is a little bit off topic but in my defense I am a Bridesmaid (and Maid of Honor!) for the first time in my life and it is not easy, I had quite a few nervous break down but I am getting there, Wedding is June and now I can say that I will survive! You are in the same situation ? Scroll down below to ease you pain and take your worries away. After all it is not your big day so relax!
- Don’t take it personally, it is not your wedding!
I have to say that is has been difficult, especially few weeks after her engagement. I was not getting along with her other friends and we had quite a few misunderstanding. That being say I am accusing anyone, just saying the obvious. So take a deep breath and step back after all the Bride will have the last word so that doesn’t matter if the dress is Pink or baby pink (But damn I was so right!!!!).
2. Accept the Dress (even if it’s not your color/style/It’s ugly)
No matter what, you are not in control. If you think you are for a split second you are a fool. You are here to give that extra push and help not to give your real opinion so if the Bride loves it then you do as well. You can always tell her what you think based on solid arguments though but not spontaneously, think about it first if you want to get to see your grand children one day.
3. Help the Bride to plan and stay in touch
I know everybody has a life but according to the Bride it is not the case. Stay in touch and answer the God damn question when you receive one because if the Bride is happy everyone is so please bear that in mind. Also if you say yes to something do it, don’t get back to the bride a couple of weeks before the wedding because you know how it is going to end. Yup exactly, you will be the one designated to hold her dress while she is going to do her business 10 times during the diner.
4. Be understanding and patient
She is still your friend, the same person you met 10/20 years ago so relax she is just overwhelmed she doesn’t hate you, get over yourself! I got married 2 years ago almost so I know what I am talking about and it is really hard not to act like a spoiled brat 24/7. It is just a mechanism because we just want to have the best day of our life. I guess it is what it is so if the Bride is harassing you or is acting like she is the Queen of England well let it be and don’t forget that you will get married one day, karma is Bi!**!.
5. Plan a Hen do she will never forget
I am myself in the middle of organizing and boy that is a true full time job. I am exhausted but I had the best day when she did it for me so I want to give her as much as I have received. Put your ideas together, be realistic with budget and activities and speak up you mind. It won’t harm anybody and at the end you will find a way to make it happen. Dig up you inner teenager to find the best way to please her not the other bridesmaids, true story.
6. Don’t forget the Groom
Yes believe it or not it is a rule. He is not just the guy wearing a tuxedo at the top of a cake, he has real feelings. You can involve him in many ways for the Hen do and of course send him messages or arrange coffee break to ask for his opinions and show him that yes the groom matters. I love my best friend futur husband and it is a shame that usually everything is about the Bride! So please take an hour here and there, ask him about his suit, favorite cake flavors and of course ask him a lot of info for the Hen do. He can be a very good ally so don’t piss him off.
7. Involve Anyone you can
Bear in mind that all the people invited are going to eat for free so they better work a little bit to earn that privilege. As an exemple the sister of the groom is helping doing the wedding favors, the cousin is helping with the suit and a family friend is taking care of the bunch of kids. At my wedding my best friend did a lot but my sister, parent, his parent and even some other friends helped to organise. Depend of the budget but if it is a tiny one it is always great to offer a voucher for some wedding appetizers than giving money at the end of the day, every little helps!
8. Your Problems doesn’t exist (even before the wedding)
This is going to be HER day, not yours so don’t make it about yourself no matter how hard it is. From the moment the engagement is made the nightmare begin so do whatever it takes to make it about the wedding so don’t even talk about your stupid boss at work. It is not relevant sister! Besides unless you get ran over by a car the Bride will not care so keep yourself busy with flowers and cake conversations for your own sake.
9. Facebook, E-mails and Your phone are you best friends
There is nothing more frustrating than sending a message and wait days to get an answer but DUH! now we can see if someone has seen messages. I mean when it is not in a hurry ok fine but when you need a massive information or a deadline is coming please make yourself available. Check your e-mail and Facebook and PLEASE pick up your phone because no I will not leave a message I want an answer now (or at least the very same day).
10. Have fun, You will still remember it in 20 years !
We tend to forget that all those planning stuff and organisation things are made to build a happy and memorable day. You will remember it as long you as you are friends of course and it will be part of your memories and your friends one. Be happy for her, make it about them and try to have a big heart because she will or already did the same for you so being a bridesmaid is like being a sister for one day, think family not friends and you will enjoy it even more.